Opinions

The other day I bought a particular perfume I've been wanting for a while. It's called Pink Sugar, and has this yummy, delicate, sweet scent. When I got home, I let Bean smell it. "Mmmm!" she said, "it smells like flowers!"

"Really?" I asked. "I thought it sort of smelled like cotton candy."

She sighed, and then nodded diplomatically. "Well, you can still think it smells like cotton candy, and I can still think it smells like flowers. We can have different opinions."

I wonder if we'll continue to agree to disagree so nicely as she gets older? ;)

Shhh...

Bean's new favorite thing to do is tell someone she wants to whisper something in their ear. She usually does this when she doesn't want me to hear what she's saying. Because she thinks Daddy/Grandma/Grandpa is a softer touch and will let her get away with whatever it is she wants to do. And she's probably right.

What Bean has NOT counted on is the decibel level at which she "whispers." I would call it a stage whisper, but even that would imply some level of quiet. Now of course I'm not telling her that I can hear everything she's saying. Hey, I'll take any advantage I can get! But she does seem to find it funny that my mommy brain seems to know what it was she was asking.

I guess moms are just funny that way.

Why is Flirting Fun?

A friend of mine recently got honked and whistled at while she was walking with her baby stroller. She said she didn't know if she should be flattered or offended. This brought out a range of comments from other women our age. I, for one, have never been offended if a guy flirts or whistles. Let's face it, it's kind of fun! BigGuy also gets flirted with by the occasional waitress, and I think it's kind of cute how oblivious he is to it.

So it begs the question, how much flirting is ok? We're very secure in our marriage and our monogamous lifestyle. I trust BigGuy implicitly, as he does me. So where does one draw the line between harmless fun and something to be concerned about?

It Takes a Village...

How many clones do YOU need? I often feel like I never have enough time to do the things I want, without sacrificing the things I need to do. Here's my wish list for the Clone Fairy (whom I picture to be as a rather tall, cigar-smoking, middle-aged balding man with a beer belly, for some reason).
- A Cleaning Clone - For only four people, we go through a lot of dishes. And don't even get me started on Mount Laundry.
- A Cooking Clone - So I can live up to BigGuy's memories of three square meals served daily. All complete with sides of freshly picked vegetables, of course.
- A Business Owner Clone - So much of my day is taken up with editing and other work that I need to do. I love doing it, but would love to spend time with the kids as well!
- A Secretary Clone - To take care of the details... mailing bills, pickup and drop-off at school, shipping finished products, returning phone calls and emails, bringing snacks for school, etc.
- A Minor Emergency Fixer Clone - For all of the "Mommy I bumped my chin on the pillow!" and "She's TOUCHING me!" crises.
- A Wife Clone - I think we all know what this one's for.
- A Catching Up on the DVR Clone - Why do I always record way more than I can ever watch?
- A Snuggling Clone - Because Squish is at that age where 98% of her ideal day is spent snuggling on the couch watching TV. Unfortunately this doesn't allow me to get much else done.
- A Facebook/Chatboard/Blog Updating Clone - A favorite past-time, to be sure... but also a huge time-suck. Even after I've let all my farms go to seed.

Ok... what did I miss?

She's already a typical woman.

Lately Squish will say in her best cute-but-demanding voice, "Peez?! Peez!?!" I answer, "Please what?" Because I'm not really sure what she wants. She shrugs her shoulders and said, "Iownno." (I don't know). She's a typical woman already.

Happy Dog

We had two dogs... B and T. After B had her last litter, we decided it was time to retire her. My in-laws' dog had passed away, and they missed having a dog around. So she moved to their house down south. T has missed his wife, but B's SO much happier in her new place.

Yesterday my in-laws came up for BigGuy's birthday. They brought B with, and T has been in doggie heaven. He's actually smiling. B is slightly amused to see him, but is more interested in smelling the entire yard, one blade of grass at a time. T just walks around with this big dumb grin on his face... "Ahhh... my wife is home. Life is good."

The Grapevine Has Gone Digital

Like most people, I grew up with an extended family that had its fair share of dysfunction. We had people we were close to, people we disowned, and people we were close to that we wish we could disown.

All kidding aside, I've always felt lucky to be close to my cousins on one side of my family. Unfortunately the occasional case of sibling rivalry will rear its ugly head. Through most of our adolescent years, my one aunt would compare her daughter and me all the time. While this was a completely one-sided affair (my mom really didn't care), we still got bombarded with news. My cousin developed a chest first, had a boyfriend first, yadda yadda yadda. Meanwhile, I was plodding my way through geekdom, hoping I would "blossom" one day. We always joked that this particular aunt was the family Grapevine. If you wanted to know the news, just call her.

Enter Facebook. Now you can tell the world what you're doing in short little blurbs, or incriminating photos. Said aunt has joined Facebook, and was using everyone's updates to try to "scoop" my mom on the family news. When BigGuy got laid off, he posted it in his Facebook status. A few minutes later, my aunt called my mom to ask her if she knew BigGuy had been laid off. At another point she made up some story about me, using information from several months ago. It was just getting odd.

So at what point do you cut off communication? There are things I want to share with my friends, but I don't want them being used against me. I don't want to feel like I have to censor myself for fear it will work its way back to my mom in some twisted form. I was starting to feel like I was being spied on or something.

Last week someone hacked my Facebook and email accounts. Facebook closed my account until it was taken care of... for about a week. Talk about withdrawals! When it came back up, a few of my friends had disappeared. And I must say I was relieved that my aunt was one of them. Sometimes you just need a little less grapevine.

Surrounded by Sadness

It seems like so many people around me are suffering right now. We have our own little problems, but they seem small compared to everyone else. BigGuy was laid off, but thankfully got a job with his old company. So we've had a tight month, but it seems like no big deal.

My friend (mom to Princess, Stinky and Peas... I really need to give her a nickname) just had her beautiful baby, Pixie, but she has to stay in the NICU for a while. She also just found out Pixie needs to be under the bilirubin light. The other day, their dog Ali ran away from home. They drove around looking for her, and reported her missing to the police. Unfortunately, someone had hit Ali with their car. She was found on the side of the road. Can you imagine explaining to three young children that their dog died? It was awful. I went to see if I could help in any way. When I walked in the door, Princess wailed, "Ali was killed by a car!" My heart crumpled. I just hugged her, and wished I could bring their dog back. I can't imagine how hard it was for her mom.

A family that I used to go to school with had a daughter who was disabled.... could not walk or talk. She recently contracted double pneumonia, and Swine flu. She passed away this week. One of her sisters said "she's finally able to walk and talk in heaven."

There's just so much sadness. I wish I could wrap my arms around everyone and make it better.

Birth is so much more beautiful when I'm not the one pushing...

One of my best friends just had her beautiful baby girl. She asked me to be there with her during labor, to support her and to take pictures. It was the first birth I've ever attended where I wasn't the one delivering. I was so moved by the tenderness between her and her husband, and the way they communicated without words. Now, this is a man who normally pisses off his wife on a daily... no hourly... basis. But he gently rubbed her back, and held her hand, and patted her hair. He kissed her forehead, and told her she was doing a great job.

It took me back to my labors. BigGuy is amazing during labor... does all the right things. He's supportive, and encouraging, and loving. I'm so blessed to have him, and I tell him that all the time.

When she was exhausted, she asked for an epidural. Her doula and husband reminded her that she hadn't wanted to do an epidural. I'm fairly certain flames shot out of her eyes as she told them in no uncertain terms that she WAS getting an epidural. So Dr. Epidural was called in rather quickly, since she was dilated to 6. As soon as he walked into the room, she yelled, "We're not doing the epidural!" She was officially in transition.

Things happened quickly after that. Lights went on, the room filled with doctors, and the baby warmer was ready to go. As I stood at the head of the bed, encouraging her as best I could, I snapped the first pictures of her little Pixie. And I cried. I didn't even cry for my daughters' births because I was so exhausted and caught up in the moment. But being there, to see this beautiful little girl come into the world... it was just so amazing.

I've struggled for a while with the way my labors went. They weren't at all what I expected. But being there with my friend, with her husband and doula gently supporting her, I saw what birth could be like. It was natural and non-clinical... surrounded by people who love her. I hope I can have a delivery like that some day.