I just need a break.

I've spent the last 2 weeks in severe pain. Have been to multiple doctors, even the ER, and no one seems to know what's causing it. We're trying to decide if we need another ER visit tonight. My doctor's out of town on vacation, and I'm not sure I can stand the pain until he gets back.

I'm just so tired of being in pain. And what are these doctors thinking when they tell me to rest? I have two kids for pete's sake.

Reminders...

Do you ever get hit with a slew of reminders about something or someone? This most often happens with memories of my brother, who I lost in 2003. I'll be driving along, and see something with his initials, and then the song from his funeral will play. Or I'll hear a song from his favorite band, and someone will walk by with his cologne.

Today this happened with memories from our first miscarriage. I happened to be thinking about how we were done with babies, although a part of me will always be sad we didn't have a son. Bean piped up with a question about whether she would see her little brother or sister in heaven... "the one that was in your belly, but went right to heaven." I thought it odd that her thought pattern was so close to mine. Right after that, the song came on the radio that carried me through that miscarriage. The words spoke to my heart and comforted me so deeply at that time.

So I wonder why these little batches of reminders happen. Is it a part of the heart healing? Is it God's reminder that he got you through the rough times?

Catching Up

Well it's been a while. A long while. Life has been busy, blah blah blah. After our first miscarriage, I kind of lost the desire to blog. We decided we were done having kids, so I took my brave husband for that appointment all men fear. The SNIP. The next few days were spent with him alternating bags of frozen peas ... poor thing!

Well, in all that paperwork, they tell you to use a backup method of birth control in the first few months after the procedure. Did we listen? Noooo. Did we get pregnant again? You bet. Unfortunately, we lost yet another little one. Thankfully we've not had to suffer that heartache again.

So I've taken the time to throw myself into my work. It's paid off with a much better year business-wise. But reading a friend's blog made me realize it's been a long time since I sat down and put my thoughts into words. So I may be scattered for a while as I get back into the swing of things. Be patient with me.