A Graduation, Of Sorts

Tuesday night was our preliminary graduation from pole dancing class. I say preliminary, because the official graduation is next week. But I filmed my classmates' routines so they could watch themselves. It was a nerve-wracking, but exciting, experience. I danced to one of my favorite songs, "Pour Some Sugar on Me." I even nailed the one move that has been giving me so much trouble.

I loved watching my Pole Sisters dance. They each have their own style... some vixens, some slow and sultry. We're all different body types, and from all different places in life. But we're all beautiful in our many ways. I feel like we have a little sorority that meets once a week. I love the camaraderie and the laughter, as well as the support and advice. It's everything I love about girl friendships, without the catty backbiting. Only positive comments and positive attitudes are allowed, and that makes for a very inspiring atmosphere.

So as I watched my own dance on video, my first thought was about how fat I look. Being a woman, I had to critique myself as usual.

But then I forced that thought out of my head. I watched myself, and saw the sensuality. I replayed my friends' comments in my head... that I looked hot... that they couldn't see any cellulite on my body... that I did an amazing job.

I realized I'm carrying myself differently since starting this class 2 months ago. I hold my head higher, and throw my shoulders back. My muscles are more defined, and I'm losing inches. I have more confidence in my body... even with its imperfections.

So while we are graduating from our level, I feel like I've also graduated to a new level of thinking. No, I'm not a supermodel. But I'm a sensual woman. I can do things I never thought I would be able to do. I can take time to do something that's just about me, and not feel guilty about it. And that's a pretty wonderful place to be.