Lack of Communication

I consider myself to be a fairly down-to-earth person. I don't think I'm too hard to talk to, and I'm pretty understanding. So I get frustrated when friends of mine don't communicate. Such has been the case with a friend who I've known for several years. All of a sudden, she won't acknowledge me.

It started a few months ago when she started becoming friends with the group I not-so-fondly call the Mommy Nazis. I was worried they would change her. She knew how much I hate them, but she likes to be friendly with everyone. So we stayed friends, but I felt myself guarding what I said, for fear it would make its way back to my enemies.

Recently I completely forgot we had an appointment. She texted me to see if we were still getting together, and I realized I had forgotten our date. I apologized profusely, and even made an effort to cancel the plans I was in the middle of to meet her. She said it was no big deal. But apparently it was a big deal. Now things are strange, and I have the feeling she's walking away from our friendship. We had plans for her to work with me as a client (as she has many times in the past), and now she's cancelled that.

Is it strange of me to think that a friend should cut you more slack than this? I know if one of my girlfriends forgot an appointment with me, I would feel frustrated but not make a big issue out of it. It's hard not to blame the women who've made my life a living hell. But I am sad to think she would be that easily swayed.

I am a communicator. I like to resolve issues quickly, and can't stand to have things unexplained. If one of my friends doesn't seem to be talking much, I get concerned that they're upset with me, etc. I like to have peace in my relationships.

She is non-confrontational. I don't know how to address this, without things getting more uncomfortable. Sometimes I hate being a girl.

Mommy Nazis

We all know them. Some of us may actually be them. Mommy Nazis.

These are the moms who are intent on making every other mom feel insecure about her parenting skills. Who sneer down their nose at your garage-sale-find stroller because it doesn't have the right name on it. Who are horrified that you don't buy organic food for your baby, let alone that you don't make it from scratch. Her child is learning Mandarin, while mine learns Spanish from Dora and Handy Manny.

Why do we do this to each other? When will we accept that there is no right way and no wrong way to raise a child? That as long as the kid is happy and healthy and safe... it's perfectly alright for them to play at the park without 2 gallons of antibacterial lotion being involved.

Unfortunately, I think we'll always be at war. The Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHM) versus the Working Moms. The Breastfeeders versus the Formula Feeders. The ones who let their kids watch TV, versus the ones who would never dream of it.

I recently had someone tell me I could never do a fantastic job of parenting because I work from home. Therefore I can't give 100% of my attention to my children at all times. My question is this... what is this mother preparing her children for? When these kids go to school, and the teacher has to divide her attention between 25 children... will there be a meltdown? But this M.N. is in the bully category... she can do no wrong, in her eyes. So I just went on my way, and tried to put it out of my mind. Add it to the list of fears I have as a mom... that I'm somehow depriving them of a normal childhood because I choose to work.