Does this tie make me look fat?

Today I was wondering why you never hear a guy complain about his weight. You don't catch him checking out his backside in the mirror, or griping about how a tank top makes his arms look flabby. Everyone knows I love my BigGuy, and he'll be the first to admit he's no muscleman. But he's not self-conscious about it. As long as the kids are safely asleep behind closed doors, he will proudly parade around naked.... a feat I will only attempt when sucking in, lifting, jutting, and hoping he's had enough beer to think I look hot.

Every guy I know (no matter what he looks like), thinks he's DARN sexy. When asked to rate themselves on a scale of one to ten, most of my girlfriends averaged around a 3 or 4. My guy friends averaged around a 20. Because 10 just wasn't enough to contain all their hotness, natch.

I have to wonder if this stems (at least in part) from Hollywood's blatant double standard as far as appearances. Almost every sitcom you see on TV has an overweight, normal-looking husband, and a hot wife. Where are the shows with cellulite-ridden, chocolate-eating housewives married to ripped underwear models? It only seems fair.

As a photographer, I KNOW that the images I see in magazines are heavily airbrushed and tweaked. But it's still hard not to look at that perfect body and compare it to my own.

I guess I need to be thankful that BigGuy doesn't hold me to the same standard as I hold myself. He'll gladly wolf whistle and holler compliments at me that would make a construction worker blush. He doesn't see the cellulite and the love handles. Maybe this is one area where I need to see the world through his eyes.

Let's Get Physical...

Ever since we lost the baby in September, I've been trying to lose weight. I'd love to get back to where I was when BigGuy and I got engaged. While my physical condition makes exercise difficult, it's also improved if I'm in good shape. Sort of a Catch-22.

So I started slowly, exercising on my Gazelle whenever I was able. For those who don't know what a Gazelle is, take a minute to look it up. If nothing else, then to laugh at how ridiculous Tony Little looks. I like the machine, because it doesn't hurt my knees like a stair stepper. But I cannot stand listening to Little's over-hyped voice telling me what to do. I usually opted for music, or a good book/magazine.

As I started to improve, I added the Bowflex to my routine. I used to lift weights a lot when I was in high school and college, so there's something very satisfying about getting my muscles back into shape. It's amazing how much your body remembers about form, and it almost seems like it craves being in good shape again.

I still have bad days (including this past weekend when I had some sort of stomach problem), so I don't get to work out every day. But it has definitely improved my overall physical condition. Right now I'm averaging a workout every other day.

I did not make any major changes to my diet. Let's face it... I love to eat. So any time I've tried to make a diet change that restricted what I eat, I get cranky and end up cheating. Instead, I'm making small changes that will benefit me. In the evening, if I really want a dessert, I can have one unhealthy thing or two healthy things. Before my sickness this last weekend, I had completely gone off pop, because it leaves me feeling bloated and sick. I've also cut back on my dairy intake quite a bit. But believe me, I still love my pizza!

So, with these changes, I'm really excited to be a quarter of the way to my goal weight. Hopefully I can keep my slow-and-steady pace up to get to my goal!